Introduction
Well, if I didn’t annoy a bunch of people with my favourite wrestling matches of 2023 last week, I’m definitely going to do it with this list of my picks for the best Taskmaster contestants. So, to preface this is my opinion and not a definitive list since there’s definitely more than 10 great Taskmaster Contestants. Anyway, the fact I’m still milking this show to death probably says a lot more about me than it really should. So, without further ado (hopefully for the last time) here is some history about the show.
History
As we’re all aware, Taskmaster started out in the cauldron of the Edinburgh Fringe with some of Taskmaster’s greatest contestants involved, like Tim Key and everyone’s favourite Victorian council worker and time traveller Mike Wozniak. Eventually, this spun off onto TV thanks to Dave until Channel 4 lumped an enormous amount of money on the table leading to it jumping ship. Since then, it has continued to be a ratings juggernaut for Channel 4 with many spinoff New Years Treats as well as being renewed for another lord knows how many series. Anyway, with that out of the way let’s get into my picks for the best Taskmaster contestants in my opinion!
10. Charlotte Ritchie (Series 11)
Kicking off the list of my favourite Taskmaster COntestants is the children’s TV show host masquerading as an actor: Charlotte Ritchie. What’s incredible about her Taskmaster appearance is how different she is from other TV appearances like You or even Ghosts. Here, she’s just so damn wholesome whether she’s being bantered by Greg about everything she’ll have on her kids TV programme or just blissfully enjoying scootering around, Charlotte is the quintessential wholesome contestant. Also, the fact she once brought her bedding in as a prize task is just fantastic as well. Such a shame she was in the COVID series hell……
9. Sally Phillips (Series 5)
From wholesome to insanity with my next pick: Sally Phillips. Words can’t do justice to some of Sally’s antics during Taskmaster but I’ll give it my best shot. Take her response to creating a watercooler moment where she heavily implies she f***ed a water cooler. Damn, talk about being wet… Other highlights include bringing in one of Bob Mortimer’s poos as a prize (yes really) as well as her participation in the iconic performance of Rosalind’s a F***ing Nightmare. All that doesn’t even encompass her using Alex to film the miracle of childbirth with a GoPro so there’s really no one better to demonstrate the mad Taskmaster contestant vibe than Sally….
8. Ed Gamble (Series 9)
It’s difficult to categorise Ed Gamble into the Taskmaster contestant archetypes given he flips between them consistently. These mostly range from the incredibly aggressive and competitive one to just seeming like he’s over the show. An example of the former is talking about his three sensitivity levels in response to Greg criticising his team’s approach to recreating Buckaroo or even the time when he had to work with David Baddiel. Examples of the latter include when he has to work with David Baddiel or his hilarious reaction to seeing Greg wearing his swimming shorts instead of pants. Other highlights of Ed’s Taskmaster winning season include his incredible ability to throw a pebble into a pedal bin or once again him growing increasingly more over life when he has to work with David Baddiel. Overall, one of the better winners on Taskmaster.
7. Noel Fielding (Series 4)
How Noel Fielding kept the Bake Off Job after putting a cake into a washing machine is beyond me but hey ho. Anyone who eventually becomes known as a wily giraffe blower has some hilarious moments on Taskmaster like the aforementioned cake destruction incident. There’s also his interpretation of an exotic sandwich, when he makes Alex do a strip tease whilst having bread tied to him, or even when he camouflages himself as a banana via some wonderful greenscreen work. And who could forget his impersonation of Greg or the time he hoyed a gas canister out of a bandstand? If chaotic good was a person, it would be Noel Fielding.
6. Munya Chawawa (Series 14)
Now a fun fact about Munya that he rarely mentions is how he’s originally from Zimbabwe so I’m not sure if we’re all aware of that. Anyway, it’s not a surprise that the pun using comedian fared so well on Taskmaster as it’s the perfect setting for him to crack loose. This includes his iconic divide and conga quip which is up there with the very best jokes in Taskmaster history. Anyway, other highlights include him doing a Tim Key impression by blatantly cheating in an airport task, as well as his classical rap song. All of that pales in comparison to his sheer ability to waffle in order to curry favour with Greg which is another iconic Taskmaster archetype.
5. Fern Brady (Series 14)
Continuing the theme of Series 14 and fantastic contestants, let’s discuss Fern Brady and her wonderful ability to bring smiles to everyone’s faces. Take when she thinks Greg won’t like her prize task because he’s from Shrewsbury and so he only eats roast dinners. Then there’s her calling John dafty in the middle, completely coincidentally in the middle of John’s sabotage task. And who could forget her incredible rendition of a Mozart song where she insults every single other contestant? Overall, she’s one of the funniest contestants especially when she’s just insulting John for no reason at all. One of the funniest women to appear on Taskmaster if not for….
4. Judi Love (Series 13)
If you look up waffling in the dictionary, you won’t find a definition but instead a picture of Judi Love. Simply put, she came in with no hype and left one of the best and funniest Taskmaster contestants. This mostly seen during the aftermath of tasks as her ability to mine gold from s**t is remarkable and a testament to her comedic chops. There’s also the moment during the finding the duck’s task where she grows increasingly convinced there’s a duck only visible with UV light on her face which is top quality. And also very, very haunting. Overall, there’s just something to be said about throwing a loose woman into the madness that is Taskmaster.
3. James Acaster (Series 7)
The real question is what was over his shoulder in his hit song, Over My Shoulder? The answer I don’t know but this series really emphasised how funny James Acaster is. Highlights include him calling Greg a p***y, the iconic pants on a stick song and him nearly murdering Rhod for not revealing there was a shed full of building materials in a task. This doesn’t even account for the time he nearly had a meltdown over hula hooping and also when he brought a key lime pie in for a key task. But somehow his best work is the moment where Greg utterly brings him down to Earth by talking to him like a four year old. Honestly, what a man and this series is sees him have a meltdown so bon appetit everyone.
2. Bob Mortimer (Series 5)
Now while Sally Phillips had more insane approaches to tasks, don’t sleep on the funniest thing from Middlesbrough since their recent Championship form. Anyway, the BBC’s resident fishing enthusiast was an absolute delight on Taskmaster. Whether it was his aforementioned preserved resin s**t ball or the time he joked about recording a GoPro video of him taking a s**t, Bob certainly had insane moments. Also, there’s his attempt at getting Alex back to shore where he uses a megaphone and constantly sings Kumbaya as well as his incredibly interesting graph about p**s quantities in the UK. Believe me, I could keep fishing out highlights but I’d be here all day.
1. Mike Wozniak (Series 11)
And my favourite Taskmaster contestant is…. Mike Wozniak! Well, that’s not shocking if you know me as everyone’s favourite mild mannered council worker and weird Dickensian character has always held a special spot in my heart. Just look at how proud he was when he passed the fart task by passing a haemorrhoid. That doesn’t even take into account how dedicated he is to the show when he chases after a balloon that he could have left having already completed the task. And who could forget his chemistry with the rest of the cast with him being just the right blend of weird yet oddly wholesome through sheer stubborn charm? Overall, easily one of the best examples of underpromising yet overdelivering in terms of Taskmaster contestants.
