Movie: Firestarter
Production Companies: Blumhouse Productions, Weed Road Pictures, BoulderLight Pictures, Night Platform
Director: Keith Nelson
Producers: Jason Blum, Akiva Goldsman
Scriptwriter: Scott Teems
Main Cast: Zac Efron, Ryan Keira Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Kurtwood Smith
Release Date: May 13th 2022 (US)
Running Time: 94 minutes
Certificate: 15
Introduction
They didn’t start the fire because the script was s****y. Oh and because the film was just a bit rubbish to be fair. On the scale of Stephen King adaptations, Firestarter ranks very much towards the bottom of the list thanks in large part to a terrible script, lack of any good scares and some uninspired performances from the whole cast. Either way with more Stephen King adaptations on the horizon, we thought we’d look back down memory lane at Firestarter. So without further ado let’s get into our review of the film!
Synopsis
Firestarter follows Charlie McGee (Armstrong), a young troubled girl with pyrokinesis, as she is forced on the run, along with her dad Andy (Efron), from a mysterious government agency who want to experiment on her and definitely not use her for nefarious means. On this journey, Charlie and Andy are pursued by a mysterious government assassin who they have to evade as well as trying to control Charlie’s powers before they go out of control.
Analysis
The Script in Firestarter
One of the many, many problems Firestarter has is the mediocre and boring script. This is evident by the fact that so little actually scary happens it’s debatable about whether or not it can be considered a horror. Proof of this is seen in one of the only memorable scenes in the film when Charlie accidentally kills a stray cat. While this is one of the only truly memorable scenes in the film, that in itself is a problem. If no one remembers that you watched Firestarter does it even matter if you watched it to begin with?
Further proof is seen from how generic the script feels, as despite it being based on Stephen King’s work it still feels like ChatGPT wrote it and that feels damning. Just look at the scenes where Charlie is confronted by bullies. Or the final scene where Charlie burns down the government agency after being ordered to by her father. Nothing about this makes Firestarter stand out other than it’s tenous association to the books author as the script hinders any possibility of the actors being good in it at all.
The Performances in Firestarter
And speaking of the actors in Firestarter, no wonder the film is towards the bottom end of Stephen King adaptations. This is in large parts due to the aforementioned terrible and mediocre script. Yet it’s kind of incredible that so many of the actors still aren’t great even in spite of a generic script. Take for example Zac Efron and Sydney Lemmon who spend the film either bleeding from the eyes or dying within in the first half of the film and barely motivating Charlie in her quest of self discovery.
Even still, Zac Efron is utterly wasted as like his on screen wife he only serves to barely motivate Charlie and the one time he serves a decent role in the narrative he goes up in flames. Both literally and figuratively in this case. Also, bless Ryan Keira Armstrong for having to put up with this script because even if she’s not that great in the film she’s by no means the worst part of the film.
Summary
To summarise Firestarter, this is a terrible and ultimately forgettable film with virtually no redeeming factors. This is in large parts due to terrible performances from the actors. As well as a mediocre script which gives them absolutely nothing to work with. Overall, a film which never comes close to striking a match or starting a mild blaze.
Overall Rating: 3.5/10 – Poor
Target Audience: 15+
Content Warning: Severe Violence and Gore, Mild Profanity, Mild Alcohol, Drugs and Smoking, Moderate Frightening and Intense Scenes
Recommendation: No
