Movie: Unfrosted
Production Companies: Columbus 81 Productions, Skyview Entertainment, Good One Productions
Director: Jerry Seinfeld
Producers: Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Feresten, Beau Bauman
Scriptwriters: Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Feresten, Andy Robin, Barry Marder
Main Cast: Jerry Seinfeld, Melissa McCarthy, Jim Gaffigan, Max Greenfield, Hugh Grant, Amy Schumer
Release Date: May 3rd 2024
Running Time: 93 minutes
Certificate: 12
Introduction
Well that was f*****g dreadful. But then again what did we expect from a film which featured the unholy trilogy of ‘comedic’ actors in Jerry Seinfeld, Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer? Unlike a Jaffa Cake which is legally a cake, Unfrosted can’t in any way be considered a comedy with such terrible writing, lack of effort and so many wasted hours on a film which is less funny than Bee Movie. So without further ado, let’s get into this s**t show. Oh this is apparently how Seinfeld intends to get back into Hollywood after years in limbo. Good luck with that application Jerry…..
Synopsis
Unfrosted is all about the alleged war between Kelloggs and Post, two cereal companies, in 1960s America over who can make Pop Tarts first. Oh, it also tries to inflate the imaginary drama by including multiple assassination attempts because apparently Pop Tarts were that revolutionary. With the threadbare plot out of the way, we’re going to get into the analysis portion now before we induce any more headaches.
Analysis
The Comedy in Unfrosted
As mentioned in the introduction, Unfrosted surely can’t be classified as a comedy or even a dark comedy because there’s no comedic value to it. At least with Bee Movie, there’s some ironic value. Well as much as possible from watching Jerry Seinfeld voicing a bee and trying to get with a woman whose leagues above him. Here, we see a man desperate to get recognition after his relevancy died out in the 90s writing an appallingly unfunny film. Just look at the mind numbingly stupid conversation between Seinfeld and McCarthy at NASA about the usefulness of microwaves which nearly made us switch the film off.
Also, the attempts at dark comedy don’t even work because of how dislikable the cast are as seen when Amy Schumer basically murders someone with a typewriter to the skull. See the joke here is she hates her assistant…. When the only actually good comedic actor, Hugh Grant, is trapped as Tony the Tiger (no one tell Jamie Oliver please). Hence he gets less screen time than a woman in a Christopher Nolan film that says a lot for the comedy in this failed Seinfeld vanity piece.
Jerry Seinfeld’s Performance in Unfrosted
Speaking of Seinfeld, he goes full Hulk Hogan with his performance in that he makes everything about himself to a sickening degree. Quite literally this is main character syndrome… Anyway, this would be tolerable if his performance was in any way good. But instead he pops out the same tired performance because just like Hogan he’s only capable of one performance. This is evident from the terrible attempts at comedy like when it’s supposed to be funny that he along with every other Kellogg’s executive can’t see a camera on a hoover.
Also, the fact he’s the main character means you can’t escape him in any scene as he shoehorns in as many appearances as possible in a true example of quantity over ‘quality’. Frankly, his performance may be as bad as Schumer which is a damning indictment of how far Seinfeld has fallen but he does deserve it for his many, many terrible things. Long story short, it’s an awful performance barely deserving of a Razzie.
Summary
To summarise Unfrosted, this is a dreadful comeback attempt from Seinfeld full of unfunny jokes and performances in a half baked film which really wasn’t needed. And, perhaps most unforgivably it’s just hugely boring which makes it even more difficult to stomach a relatively short 93 minute runtime. Overall, it’s another unBEElivably terrible film from Jerry Seinfeld and the unholy duo of ‘comedy’.
Overall Rating: 3/10 – Flawed
Target Audience: 12+
Content Warning: Mild Violence and Gore, Mild Profanity, Mild Frightening and Intense Scenes
Recommendation: No
